For the most part, I think I am a pretty happy pregnant woman.
In fact, if my husband were home, I think this would be the happiest time of my life to date.
Even without him here, I’ve been on a natural high from the pregnancy. These hormones seem to actually even me out.
Still, there are times when it all seems so overwhelming–even my *knock on wood* so far very healthy pregnancy has still included various aches and pains. I get frustrated when I cannot take care of heavy exhausting things and there is no one here to do it for me. There are days when the small annoyances just seem to pile up one on top of the other, and the deployment gremlins attack the car, the computer, and just about anything mechanical or electrical upon which I rely.
I have never been one to lean on others. My friends and family back home would not understand anyway, they would only worry. I am not close enough to my friends here to share these feelings.
There is nothing really to solve, either. Just little bumps on the road.
I just want to vent sometimes.
This semi-anonymous blog would be the perfect place…and I do want to present an honest portrait here for those who are curious or about to join the club…except DH reads my blog.
I would never ever hide anything from DH. I know some will have there doubts, but we are 100% honest and open with one another.
While DH is home, I try to be more sweetness and light than not–but he is also strong, generous, and loving during those “not” times.
However, I feel it is my duty (and privilege) to turn on the sunshine at all times for DH while he is deployed. I want him fully focused on his mission–not concerned by temporary shifts in my mood.
Just like his job as a soldier requires him to keep some details from me that he would ordinarily share, I believe my job description as an Army Wife means that I sometimes must do the same.
Although my anecdotes are not classified, I would never want to risk hurting his morale.
So, to whine or not to whine…that is the question.