“I am so angry at him for what he’s doing to you.”

“He’s out of his mind.”

“You are better than I am. I would not put up with this.”

I suppose my civilian friends think they are being supportive when they say these things.

What I do not think they realize is that they are isolating me further.

Everyone sometimes need to vent about their significant other–not me of course, DH is perfect *wink*–or maybe even just circumstances.

When DH is home, I tell him about everything…but of course with the deployment, I do not want to bother him about every little thing.

When my civilian friends make statements like that though, I cross them off my list of confidants about military-related gripes.

After all, I do not want anyone to be upset with my DH, especially when it usually is an issue beyond his control. I just want to let off some steam and then let it go.

Even a simple complaint about the 100 degree heat while I was nine months pregnant could bring on a remark about how “unfair it was for him to drag me to Texas.”

So, I keep it to myself.

And most of my military friends have husbands in the same unit. With few exceptions, their husbands are directly above or below mine in the chain of command. So, they’re off that list, too.

Which leaves me, well…here.

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  1. This is a great post, and I do wish you would cross post it over at spouseBuzz

  2. kbug says:

    Hahaha, it is so difficult to make non-military people understand anything about anything…they just don’t get it and never will. Thank goodness for the milblogosphere and all the wonderful support of other military people out there.

    Lilah is such a little doll and growing so fast. Don’t fret the fussiness, it will pass. I remember it coming and going with my boys the first several months. About the time they would be sleeping all night, they’d go through a growth spurt and just couldn’t get enough to eat or eat often enough to make them happy. After a few days or so, they would settle down again. Hopefully, Lilah will do the same. I wish there was some way to know what was going through a baby’s mind and know what was bothering them…it would be so much easier then. Hang in there… :)

  3. roy says:

    nice post. i guess alot of guys dont read this stuff much,but i just caught a link and here i am.
    i used to be in uniform,they say we came within 8hrs of getting activated during the first gulf war. who knows?

    anyways,about the kids and being fussy?? hang in there,unless there is something truly wrong,,the kids will be fine. a heck of alot better than the grown-ups,that much im sure.

    i for one had the best years of my life as a solder.i loved every bit of it,,well except the running. i think you have to be built a certain way to be a runner,,i wasent.
    the training with the guys ,the rain,dirt,mud,bugs biting all night long,,it sucked,,but i still had the best job i could have wanted. i kinda miss them days with the guys. we were close with out actualy knowing each other very well. kinda weird looking back on it.

    i wish every day them guys would either get the manpower they need to get the job done,,or come home where they belong.

    this is my first visit to a mil blog,and probly the third visit to a blog of any kind,im not into this blog thing..yet??

    good luck solders and wives/husbands of them. ……………..i dont know what to say,this sux.

    hug yer kids,,it will be over soon enough,


  4. annamary says:

    I couldn’t have wrote this any better.

    My husband is in Ramadi with the 1/6 Marines. You and your husband and your little one will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Thank you all for your service.