Snappy Comebacks to Stupid Anti-Breastfeeding Remarks

I used to read MAD magazine…I know, total dork, right? And they had a featured called, “Snappy Comebacks to Stupid Questions.”

Well, I have never been much of an activist, but nowadays I find myself strongly advocating breastfeeding to anyone who will listen. I might not go so far as to call myself a lactivist, or even a reluctant lactivist, but I do believe that this issue is important enough that I should speak my mind about it.

If you are reading this close to the time of posting, you may notice that I posted a spiffy button about an auction, benefiting Attachment Parenting International (thanks for the sidebar bling, thanks amygeekgrl!) Go donate items and bid!

I’ve also recently been having an e-mail exchange with a friend who is concerned that moms who bottle feed, for whatever reason, are looked down upon. My personal sense is that while there are always jerks who feel the need and right to comment upon others’ lifestyles, for the most part it is still the breastfeeding mums who are in need of some support.

So, without further ado (too late), I would like to suggest the following “Snappy Comebacks to Stupid Breastfeeding Questions/Statements.” Please add your own.

1. Why don’t you wear a blanket?

  • Like in fundamentalist countries?
  • If you are uncomfortable, maybe you should move somewhere breastfeeding in public is less acceptable…oh, wait, that would be Saudi Arabia.
  • Actually, baby’s quite comfortable, but I have one here you can use if you would like to borrow it…

2. Why don’t you go to a bathroom?

  • Do you poop where you eat (or eat where you poop)?
  • Hmmm….despite your presence, the ambiance and odor here is still a slight improvement over the bathroom.

3. Why don’t you go somewhere more private? (note: I have used a dressing room and a nursing room, but I don’t think that a nursing mom is obligated to do so)

3. How about pumping and giving the kid a bottle?

  • She prefers milk from the tap.

4. She has teeth, doesn’t she bite?

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