In Which a Mommy Blogger Discusses Poop…

No, I’m not going to tell you about Baby Diva’s bowl movements. She’s a lady, and a diva, to boot, so she doesn’t…and even if she did, it most definitely would not stink. While I’m at it, if her future first boyfriend is reading this…you are absolutely not good enough for her.

What I’m interested in talking about, or around, more precisely, is our dear friend the euphemism.

As the fun, fearless, fabulous femmes they are, some of my favorite mommy bloggers are dedicated to using the proper words for assorted parts, even when confronted with some questionable art history.

And, I’m all for that. My mother felt the same way. As a reward for her honesty, my mother had the pleasure of having her daughter scream at the top of her toddler lungs, in Bloomingdale’s, “Mom I have an itch in my…”

Well, I will omit the word not because it makes me uncomfortable, but because I really don’t want that sort of Internet traffic.

However, I do take issue with “sexpert” Logan Levkoff’s assertion that “slang denies girls and women the opportunity to feel good about their bodies and their sexuality — teaching them that their parts aren’t good enough and are dirty. The effect on young women is drastic. Girls grow up detached from their bodies.”

And not just because she allows herself to be referred to as a “sexpert.”

Perhaps we are better off avoiding silly or degrading terms, but is any polite euphemism necessarily doing permanent damage to a child’s self-esteem?

Some medical words are simply inadequate or vague (really I had used the wrong terminology in the department store), overly clinical, and difficult for a two year old to pronounce.

Is it just female organs that require exact vocabulary, or, if I were a truly enlightened mother, would I ask my two year old if she needs to defecate? If I do not request that she sit on her gluteus maximus at story time, am I dooming her to a lifetime of “detachment” and poor body image?

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