You’re Gonna Need an Ocean…


My toddler is (knock on wood, spit on ground…East European heritage, must be done) extremely robust. She has about 10-20% of the number of colds and other minor viruses that other kids seem to get.

However, she always manages to come down with something when we travel. Usually gut troubles, probably because everyone keeps stuffing her with fruit.

And this time–she broke out in a poison ivy rash all over her cute little body.

The first sign was when she actually did not eat everything on her plate. Then, she was tossing and turning all night but still was a remarkably pleasant little tyke, considering how much she must have been itching.

When we got home, we bathed her in oatmeal, put hydrocortisone cream on the worse spots, and then dabbed her with calamine (which of course she had to do on her “own”).

Stomping around in her diaper, daubed with those pale pink calamine splotches, she looked like some sort of mini, pre-Columbian, jaguar cult princess. If it weren’t so sad, it would have been cute.

Poison Ivy, you are no longer my favorite female Batman character.

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