Diva: I WANNA SIGG* WITH WATER!!!
Me: Isn’t there a word you should use? It begins with “P?” Puh-puh-puh…
Me: Yes, um…pig begins with P, but another word, when you want to be polite.
* her sippy cup, my daughter is brand-conscious
Diva: (arranging the baby monitors) Wanna bring this one downstairs with “monitor family!”
Me: Sweetie, the monitors are so I can hear you and brother if you need me.
Diva: No. Need bruddah monitor for family. Mommy monitor, Daddy monitor, Sister monitor…this Brother monitor!
My Mom: Sweetheart, the monitor needs to work. You know how your Daddy goes to work? Well this monitor works. It goes to work upstairs.
Diva: No! This BAAAYBEE monitor. No need to work.